MY DARK CHILD

Ain't easy being you, life of a celebrity, everyone knows you and everyone fallows you around, and around where you go...
All the flashes, all the claps and smiles, and yet always drama... Straggle with your every breath seeing all around you, feeling in the dark...
Yet all the warmth in your heart, it's gotta be true...I just feel it! It must be big and strong to bear all this pain you show...Be a rock! Dark child, there is a light! Stay straight! Be game! The light is knocking on your door, don't straggle over that, just make a step and grab the knob... The world hasn't turned silenced, it is not always black all around. The clouds might be dark, could be cold and raining or even snowing, but guess what's next?! The sun shines after, and remember time is irredeemable! Can you hear me, I can scream out loud if you don't.
See, I know, can't be easy being you, but do you know I am here now. I can teach you slowly how to smile at first, make you laugh at second and made you run with me at last...
You don't have to sit alone in that dark room, I can let you out on the sunrise...It's ok if you don't see the sun at first, just hold me tightly, and I am not just saying that...it is just around the corner...It is right there, we'll seek it, if you can't see it better, we will go like moving cart, down the streets...just around the corner, right there. If I have to I will sing it to the world, make believe....
Stay with me and find out with me, infinity of life..You can count on me even in the darkness, because I will be right here for you and you will be right next to me... seeing for the first time the sunrise. And remember after the sunset, there is gonna be again another sunrise. 
I can see it in your head how you feel the light, it is true... I feel ya! I know it is not an easy thing to say how you feel nor I, but what is there to gain or lose from showing to the world. I pray to God only that you can recognize the light and goodness all around me. I can be your ground if you falling down... 
The thing you can have it now it contain in me... You define the existence...Because I traded a frown for the smile, wearing it now proudly, because of you and only, it is true...for you... 
I am not afraid of your dark world, you can try reading me, but would be diving in the ocean with no gear. 
But you can hold my hand, and take a step with me, by step... Relax, I promise not to go back, or be in a circle, just ahead towards warm and light...you won't be an owl in the wilderness...Watch the shadows passing by...You have been away, all night, thousand miles...but now you can come with me...For a little ride, kiss the dark and shadows goodbye, it's gonna be alright...
Is the sky getting brighter and brighter?!What is the first thing you see as you open your eyes?

GOTHAM CITY

I walk alone in this crazy world meeting people from a different worlds,
not believing all their minds and auctions. I hear about shootings, in schools, in theaters, in spas, in temples, is it anywhere safe at all any more?
Should I have a gun under my coat or in my purse, having knife under my clothes, hide my money, tell; my kids not to go to school?
Where is Batman in this case? Where is YOU? What the hell are you thinking right now? You think you can solve all your problems with a gun or beat up your friends or people you never met before because you are mad at the world?
It is everywhere I feel people with masks and with the wrong purpose. In stead of being the man and be our protector as the stronger and powerful figure, you rather beat up everyone around you with word of violence or physical auction.
I see you all over, with your regular clothes, but wearing that mask you think of a "hero" talking down to women and men, laying hand upon and feeling good about it. Killing a child, something we created together. We all live together you know, we all provide for each other, some thought you for years in school, some give you birth and fed you, some give you a chance in this world to prove yourself and what you did at the end?! It is a shame we don't appreciate each other, it is a shame we hate each other for whatever reason, it is a shame what we do to each other, yet we give that bad example to others and teach the nation with it...
Do you know what is to give birth and gave up so much of your life for it? Do you know what is to wake up thousand times at night and walk to the kid's room and watch and listen your baby for breathing? Do you know what is the feeling when you teach a kid in school something and see it later succeed in life and be happy in life/ Do you know what is to see you just walking down the street?
What happen to you people, with saying the truth and be honest when you really smile and when you are really sad and talk about it, why all the hiding behind the wrong masks? Why can we all be batmen and Catwomen and show the world we can be better. Why all the fight for what? We are all the same, we sleep under the same sky, we eat the same food and we all speak, why not use the language instead of the weapons...?Why, oh why..?
Where is Batman, I mean where is the real YOU?

I WONDER IS IT REALLY YOU

I wonder, is that you?Are you telling me the truth, that is really you who you really are?!
After all the search I've done... After all the years that pass by, in dreams, in illusions,in my written stories, is that really you?
I sit alone and look at your face, dark hair, light eyes, just as my dreams, did I make a mistake, or that is really you? I have to get up and try, try, try, keep wonder and find out.
I don't want to any more cry, are you just getting by? I wonder, I just wonder, is it really you???
I want to meet you, I want to hold you, I want to kiss you, I just wanna try, try, try... Is it really you?
I don't wanna look anymore, I am tired, I walk a long way, I don't want to dance anymore alone...
I will wear you out, I will carry you out, I will love you so much... It won't get any worst, I only wonder is it really you...

Useless... Why me, God why me...

How are you? - Good
How is your job?- The same...
Do you get more hours?- No I quit!
Where are you working now?- My old job.
When I am going to see you again?- I don't know
So how is the love life?- Good
How is that boyfriend of yours?- I don't have a boyfriend.Men disappoint me.
You should try women!- And you should try men!
Did you make that sushi?- No
Where did you get it from?-The store.
Which one?- Woodmans
Which one?- In Oak Creek
Are you happy, you sound down?- I am having sushi, wine and I am jamming on cool music, how do you know I am sounding down when you don't even hear me, we are chatting on FB.

WHERE ARE YOU MY LOVE

Do you reside within my mind's recess 
Or do you stand a hand's breadth away? 

Are you a figment of my imagination 
Or a promise held at bay? 

Did we know each other in a prior life 
Or will we find one another here? 

Will you know me if you see me 
Or will you never draw near? 

Where are you, my love? 

Will you wrap your arms around me 
Will you whisper in my ear? 

Will you fill the emptiness within me? 
Will you drive away my fears? 

Will I have to wait another lifetime 
Or one more minute or day? 

Do you seek me as I seek you 
Or are you content to stay away? 

Where are you, my love? 

SECOND CHANCE

So I have this policy in Bulgarian, exact translation would be "Where I spit, I don't lick back." Which would mean if I turn my back on something or someone I wouldn't go back.
I have been thinking long time with years now, I really can't hold a grudge against anyone and as bad as it was, now all is water under the bridge.
I love the idea to give a chance again and say maybe even sorry if I did anything wrong. I had many people in my life that I pushed away or they did me, but I never forgot any of them and I always wish I could keep in touch and talks time to time...Or maybe its just the idea of being on good terms no matter what.
So, here I am giving you a chance, say something. I am sorry for whatever I did, wish you all the best and I am really happy for your life and success so far, I am sure there is so much of it by now :).
We all had our reasons to dislike each other at some point, but my negative feelings at the time were never true, only my good feelings are genuine, and the bad are something for the moment connected to reason I never understood even now. So I think it would be nice to let go old negative energy or bad feelings, just because that was really never in me, just around me.
I am giving second chance, would you give me a second chance too? Either way I wish you the best whenever you are...

BUCKET LIST

Learn how to fly a plane.
Name a boat.
Go around the world and take a picture of all cool places I see.
Build a home here and have another one overseas.
Have a huge loft with a lots of sun light where I can do all my art projects.
Be the star of a kick ass action movie where would have horses and gun powders along with blades.
Fall in love again.
Build a great house for my mother and brother where they won't worry about anything.
Publish my book and the second, and the third and so on...
Be able to go anywhere I want any time I want.
Learn how to turn back time when I screw up.
Have something really old and really valuable.
Have a car which you can't see everywhere.
Have an assistant.
Meet Kat Von D, the Queen and Angelina Jolie.
Learn how to play a musical instrument.
Take care of my best friend and make her happier every each day.
Have my amazing long hair back.

...

PHOENIX

So I hear you are sad, I am sad then too...
So I heard you had a long day, so did I...
So I heard your life is going crazy, so do mine...
So I heard you are scared, so do I sometime...

But when I heard you lost hope, I got a bit angry...

Can you hear me now, voice rising from the darkness...
Shaking you, wake up, not all is lost!
There is today, but after that tomorrow,
And there will be more to come and be at last.

I know I am here, but I can't do it all...
You have to rise on your own...
You and only you can help yourself,
Be a Phoenix, be born again and grow!

So what that people are away to celebrate...
And you are working, doing all the same...
Your time will come just wait,
Be patient and create.

Can you not waste your time again,
So what, you are now alone,
Stop criticizing, stop whining and complain,
Stop being angry at your friends, or cry, or vain...

Get up I say! Get up YOU!
There is so much else to do,
The world hasn't stop living,
You should start in that believing!

Be a Phoenix, be born again and grow!

SAND CLOCK

Fast going by, days, years, yesterday, today...
The time doesn't stop in my crazy life express.
And my life is fast, crazy but some sad and gray,
Sand clock with my birth, 'til my grave, oh yes...

Expensive is the life you know, with open hands you take it!
Be happy that you breathe, take and give away,
To a friend your shoulder- for the hungry one- the bread,
Give it from your heart, you're guest on Earth every day!

Do you see around you, all the beauty that we have?!
Heaven is on earth, when you have a good soul,
If you make mistake, don't you wait, but ask forgiveness,
Sand clock counts every day you roll.

THANK YOU

Thank you Mom for giving me birth and being next to me for most of my life giving me strength, teaching what is right and what is wrong and so much more. Thank you!

Thank you my little brother, for being a huge part of me, even though right now you are super busy being in Med School, I understand. Thank you!

Thank you to all my teachers in all the schools I've been to, you give me so much, that NO ONE can take away from me ever, and of course believing in me. Thank you!

Thank you to my ex, the reason I am here is YOU, and that we have two beautiful children. Thank you for understanding and being here for the kids, I know what is to grow up without a father and I would never wish the same to our kids. Thank you!

Thank you to my parents in law, who always been and always will stay my parents in my new home America. Thank you for not judging me and welcoming me for who I am without trying to change me. Thank you!

Thank you to my best friend, I can not begin lining up all the things you've done for me and keep doing through all my time here in America. I am really lucky person that I met you, and I will be there for you every time I can and I will do my best to bring you up every time you are down. Thank you!

Thank you to all my other friends, who understand my broken English and laugh on my jokes, even on the stupid ones. I am very loyal to you all and I wish I can give you one big hug. You make my days brighter and better, I don't know what I would be doing without friends. Thank you!

Thank you to all my employers, who give me a chance in life to show myself and shine, learn new skills and develop. Of course the money are always good and welcome. Thank you for risking with me, believe me I will never let you down! Thank you!

Thank you to my children, you, ah you... you will be always in my heart, always my brightest light, my greatest creation in life, my world, my everything. I love you deeply. Thank you for being in my life, you are the best blessing and the best gift I could of ever ask for. Thank you!

And last, but not least- Thank you God, for watching over me and guiding me through all my difficulties, being for me when I almost gave up and showing me the light. I will try to be a better person. Thank you!

I am a lucky person! The bad and the good.

1. My super expensive digital camera breaks...- My friend managed to fix it with her magic finger tips somehow, after my three days of straggle with it...
2. I had to change three car tires in 2 weeks ...- I didn't get the flat tire on the highway or anywhere else while driving...
3. My computer crushed, couple days later my laptop as well...- I threw a lots of money they to be fixed, I know the result will be positive.
4. While I was without a laptop, my phone decided to gave up and not let me use my email, so I missed a gig as well because of it...- I situation with my email is under control now.
5. I had a young woman talking bad about me and she haven't ever met me, sure enough she is not the first or the last doing it... - I met an extraordinary person who helped me shine in the dark and made my life much fuller with hope. 
6. The school misunderstood that my kids should be in day care, instead they sent them on the bus and no one was around to pick them up while I was at work. They stayed 30 min outside in November's temperatures... - A good person took them and waited someone to show up, soon enough kids were home safe and sound...

1, 2, 3...

1. Get your good attitude back!
2. Work hard!
3. Be a better person!
4. Quit smoking for good!
5. Say thank you to all your good friends!
6. be there for all your good friends at any best chance!
7. Get back in the game!
8. Meet new people, see some old ones :-)!
9. Meet Victor Nelli Jr and impress him!
10. Get directions from Victor Nelli Jr!
11. Meet Denis Leary!
12. Fall in love!
13. Have a great time on a movie set and be the star at least once in your life!
14. Be a good person and ignore the people who talk shit about you!
15. Stop bitching about the weather- it's gonna be cold anyway!
16. Don't be a drama queen!
17.Go see your mom and tell her how sweet she is if you forgot for the sweetest day!
18. Have some respect!
19. Have fun, definitely have fun!
20. And please, please,  for God sake - clean your room!
   
                               

Talk bad about me!

So after I struggle for years, going through hell and coming back out of it. Being a mom, being a student, being a good Mentor, working hard, trying to be always a better person... There are always people out there that would hate you for no reason, that will talk bad about you behind your back or in your face with no shame or remorse or not even a drop of intellect showing their animal side. Ah...
I have been so fortunate person lately, I don't know how to begin explaining how thankful I am to God and so many people who helped me through and supported me.. 
For those who know me even a bit, know well that I am at times shy person, i do not talk, yet at those times I look mad for some reason (not my intention to be or look as that at all believe me). I am quiet when I am working, just because I am trying to focus on what I am doing and do it the best I can.
But there always will be people who don't know me and never will, standing beside me and thinking they are the center of the world and I am the bad one who ruins their life... Not really, we are all humans, all the same at that point, please don't be mad when someone tries to be a bitch to me and I snap back... Please do not judge me when you never walked with my shoes, and please please try to understand I am there and doing what I am doing because I've been hired to do that ( I am talking about acting). Or just be stupid and talk shit about me and everybody else around you and when that comes out and we all know who you are- it doesn't say good things about you...
But hey I just want to say what a lucky gal I am and how happy I am lately.

Do Not Help Me!!! Please Do Not!

Oh, Please save yourself the trouble! Do not help me, you don't even want to do that, why bother saying it. Do not look at my face and tell me you have the power to bring the stars to me- because we both know you are full of shit. Please, do not draw me a colorful dreams and state that you have the power to make them true. Do not talk to me about love, because you never ever been close to even a real one. Do not tell me you know it all, because I came from across the ocean and I still don't know anything about the world and all the people living in it. Do not help me with my parenting when you never been a parent yourself. Please, please, do not tell me you will help me but first I have to help YOU.
You want to help me, but when you say it you mingle weirdly at me. .. You want to help me but you place your hand on my thigh and stare at my chest, swallowing thirsty ... Please I do not need your help, I've been on my own and I can do it either way, I do not need this kind of a help to be somewhere. No thank you, do not help me and please do not even offer, do not bother, that is not a help at all, I can sleep alone you know :-)

It's so Over!

The the one who thinks he owns me- F*** you!
Have you dressed me? Have you feed me? Have you grown me up? Have you provide shelter for me? Have you been next to me in my sickest days? No??? Well why are you here, standing front of me complaining that you are not getting any piece of my ass?
You never got me flowers, you never got me gifts, you never shown me that you think of me anyhow, but you think that your morning texts "good morning sweety" are so flattering. Yes indeed, they are but only that is not enough. You never asked me what was my past and define who I am now because of it. You never asked me how I am and how was really my day, how I feel and what I crave. You never asked me where do I want to go and do, but you pick always your favorite places. You ask me what is my favorite food but you bring me to your favorite restaurants. You never got me any gifts because you think I will get spoiled... You tell me you don't have much time to invest in seeing me and you are not planing to get any serious than this...You fly me over for a over night to spend with you when I have to gave up work, kids, friends, and spend my whole day in flying switching airports to come to you... Yo get upset when I speak my mind and tell you how I feel and what I think, because I always tell you the truth.
F*** off than! Don't think I am stupid. You rather have a pretty doll that doesn't talk, don't need anything, you can place her anywhere, you can hide it in your back bag when you want, and you can smother her at night.
Well I am a human being and I am not stupid, I have my legs that I can still control and I am simply walking away from your stupidity and blindness. You rather have a dumb one, go ahead don't let me stay on your way. You complain more than a woman, whine like a baby and state stupid things that don't even make since. Complain for things that you can change, but for some reason you don't. You seek love, but when is under your nose, you rather be in commander and start a war. You like to be spoiled and pampered but you do not spoil and you do not care about the other side. Well, let me call you with your real name- Narcissistic idiot.  Go ahead and walk away fast before I claw your eyes off. You sure can make a woman mad when you try to play her stupid and she catches you. Go ahead run now and go cry on your mommy's shoulder or even better go back to your empty bed that was like that 6 years ago and it's still the same- cold and empty. Go ahead, it's over and man up, stop complaining that I am smarter to ditch you first. Go ahead - go and good luck!

Fall

Day by day all dies fast. Winds spreading all the facts and sings of you. Unseen street man comes and cleans the leafs, the sticks... the whole remains of you... Day by day all dies fast.
Yellow, orange, brown, it's autumn all around, and quickly all it dies around, no sign of green or life.
All goes to sleep or all is gone, it's only you walking down the cold and empty street.
Freezing winds, slap your face, you rub your hands with the hopes of early spring. No tweets of birds, no feasts or fests, no lovely green grass, no summer dress... You tightly wrap the scarf around and button fast the winter coat. You close your eyes, you think of snow, you think of Christmas, parties, friends and so...
Now I see a tinny smile on you, no worries the sky is still so big and blue... After all these times, seasons change, and the years climbs... 

Who you really are! (men and women)

I know... I haven't wrote in a long time, but i doubt anyone is disappointed out there because of it anyway lol. The truth is I've been busy lately with my acting career (that is not going any farther than stand in, as I am not SAG, and I do not live in LA = I ma no body). But I love being on the set for many reasons and one of the main one is that I see and meet a lots of new people at once. And here who they really are some of them:

1. The Bamboo man- He is young, he is cute, he is green but he is hollow. ( A young bag of crazy hormones in his 20 's  that can't think of anything else but scoring girls at any circumstances at any time).

2. The great Actor- A guy you have the perfect time and magic, seems like your soul mate. You talk for hours, share so much and feel like you were made as a pair... But when comes to getting you in bed and you say "no" he never calls you again. I guess that's how much he is into you... in the beginning.

3. The Ladies Man- Great looking man, with great big ego. He smiles and winks at you and all the ladies in the room, he taps your shoulder "accidentally" or throws a very funny joke to make you laugh. You are so taken away if you don't read his act, falling into his spider webs...At the end he uses you and you never hear back from him again...

4. The Good Friend- You see someone after so long time past buy. You had such a great time together before, but life separated you and you hear from each other once in a while, but not being into each others business as much. It is always pleasant to see each other.

5. The Best Friend- Someone you talk to almost every day, and if you miss a day, start to wonder the worst might of happened. Every time something happens, good or bad, you look for that friend to share it with. You care for each other and you are like a family.

6. The Narcissist- Pretty looking guy, you feel he has it all, the looks, the money, the brains maybe that too, but why is he such a douche bag not talking to you?!

7. The Bitch, or also known as Premadona- She always talks more than you do, she actually don't stop talking... She is all over your business too. She flirts over board with all walking guys around, she claims she has all the experience, she must be treated as a queen, and yet she is no one and you noticed she obviously forgot her brains somewhere long ago...

8. The Stalker- The one you love to get rid off but for some reason you can't hehehe! Don't we all have those?

9. The cheap Bastard- A person who let you pay for everything. Never give you presents or any kind of spoils and loves you to death...

10. Old Fashion- A guy who still opens the car door for you, take you out to diner and ask how you doing almost every day. Why aren't we having more of those guys around?

11. The Hard worker- A guy or a woman who always works and doesn't get any action at all in real life. Those people are always unavailable for you or when you need them even if it's an emergency. Oh well... F*** it...

12. The Undecided- The one you love and you are ready to spend the rest of your life with, but that significant one is never ready to do anything and commit to anything... Where this is going really?

And there are so much more... I would love to pick on but gotta go now. Cheers!

To the one who says I love you...

I know but you don’t know that you don’t love me. Stop even saying that, because I might be coming from a different country but I am not stupid. Stop saying it over and over, because repeating it is not making it any true and we all know that. I know what you want and what do you need, but I told you before and I am telling you now- I am running low on what you want. I can’t give you any more.

I am like a full glass of water and when you were in paradise with me, you were taking my water and spilling it all over the ground, forgetting to fill the glass again. Now when you are in a dark tight cold place, and you are really thirsty for me, you want that glass, but remember the water? It’s all gone, you never replaced it. Now you need a miracle to create water…

Stop asking me why too. You know why, you are one day good and the next being an asshole. You said you are going to help me, and as soon as you become king, you rather step on me and destroy me. What the hell is wrong with you, you love me? Is this how you love or you just wanting me to kiss your ass? You want the old times, when I was spoiling you, when I was caring for ya, when I was the perfect woman in the world for you and you treated me like shit?! Well guess what as much as good I am, that much bad I can be. I am not stupid, and I want to be happy, and when you are trying to make fool out of myself, you are going in the wrong direction.

You can’t be with me and wanting every time to listen to whatever music YOU like. You can’t always pick the places that YOU like to eat. You can’t always tell me how you like this to be done and how you like that to be done. You can’t tell me that you did the world for me and I have done nothing for you. You can’t leave your stinky shoes next to the bed and call me lazy when I get fussy about your dishes laying all over the kitchen counter. You can’t go out with me every time I pay and when I ask you once you to take care of it to tell me you’re broke. You can’t laugh at my English and the things I say sometimes incorrect when you use the English words improper, for example “I love you” and you really don’t. You can’t even wonder what is wrong with me when I am upset because of your behavior and you act one day nice with me and the next two weeks lazy. You just can’t, do you understand, you just can’t love me!

You can’t be an asshole and step on me like I am a little bug, so you to feel like a man and after that to tell me that you love me and expect everything to be fixed. You just can’t treat me like that. You don’t even know me, how do you even love me? 

Proud to be an American!

So many people ask me, wonder and assume many things about me, here are some…

1. I am illegal
2. I married for a green card
3. I am Russian ordered bride
4. I came with a student visa
5. I came as a tourist but I stayed longer and now I am illegal

I must say none of it is true and I can tell you simply the process.

I met my ex in my country. I never thought or dreamed of going to America , not even after I met him. But his contract finished and he had to go back to USA . We engaged before he left and we promised to see each other again soon in my country or in his. I never thought I will get approved for a visa because in my country people waited 10 years some to just get approved. Yet I got mine 6 months after he left my country and I had to gave up my home, my family, my friends, my food and everything else I know to go to this unknown to me country and see what is going to happened from that moment on.

Imagine how easy that was.

Yet as soon as I land the Immigrations give me ultimatum- “You are going to get married in 3 months or you going to be deported.” So I had not much of a choice but to sign that piece of paper and present it to the government here, as I already said goodbye to everything I known just to start a new beginning in this country.

The first official resident papers that they give me was a green card with huge letters on top saying “Permanent Alien”.

I always thought I was different from everybody else, but I never even imagine that I could be from out of space. But I always trusted America and America ’s Powerful Government. When I think back I do remember how I felt when I landed first time in O’Hara International Airport, it did felt as if I was in Man in Black movie… Maybe that is where came from my Identification Alien card…

They took my fingerprints, pictures, maybe DNA as well, I cannot remember anymore, long time ago. I agreed on everything, because first: I did not understand any English at all, but everyone was so nice to me, so I did not argue, and second: I was going to be part of this great big nation.

The first card was only for a year, I believe or two, after that I had to go again for more fingerprints and pictures to renew my status. That time I was able to talk back and answer the questions they were asking instead of nodding “yes” to everything.

 That Alien ID card was for 10 years.

And the law in WI is that if you are resident for 5 years you can apply for Citizen ship. Since I am very opinionated person, and I like to give that opinions to anyone who need it or not, I decided to become an American as that way I will be able to vote.

I applied, and they sure enough found fast that I am a harmless Alien and I haven’t been eating any humans in the past 5 years in Wisconsin . I participated in a group gathering where we all repeat few lines from the law book I believe, and I had in my hands the certificate congratulating me a being an American.

Do not get me wrong! I love my new adopted country. I do not believe I will ever go back in Bulgaria and start from zero again. I have everything here now and I am really happy and proud to be an American. It is a just a journey that I made, a bit different from others, to come here and be who I am now.   

So there is no illegal statuses or being an illegal immigrant here. I never been ordered from any catalog, (even thought I am in VS catalog every issue, hahaha), there is no marrying anyone for anything, and I have my American passport I do not need a green card. I can still eat you though J! 

Shit other people ask or tell me…

1. “Where are you from?” –Bulgaria (So I’ve been often asked at least once a day.)

“Oh, I know where it is.”- Oh, really? Where?

“Across the ocean…?” – Yes, as soon as you’re traveling east…

2. “We will all die in December 2012.” BS, we are though human beings. After all we survived Obama’s care; we can survive the Mayan’s calendar prediction. 

3. “See you later.”- Yeah right, don’t bother if you don’t mean it “later”. 

4. “It’s free.”- And what do I have to do or give you to get it “free”?!

5. “I forgot my wallet.”- Yeah, I’ll get the bill this time, and there is no next time going out with you! 

6. “It’s always 5 o’clock somewhere.” -Excuse for drinking or getting drunk??

7. “I’ll do it later.” -That always means “never”

8. “Do you watch football?”- You mean rugby? American football? Because everywhere else on this planet football is well known as soccer. .. 

9. “Do you want sugar with that?”- Yes, please. 

“Splenda, sugar twin, NutraSweet…” -No, I mean real sugar!

 “How about cream?” -Yes, please. 

“Nonfat, 2%, skim milk, half and half…” -No, I mean real cream. 

“Any butter?”- Ughh, yes… 

“I can’t believe it’s not butter?” -Excuse me; I can’t believe you just asked me that!

10. “Twilight is the best movie ever made.” - You are not old enough!

11. “You can’t do it.” – Yes, I can!

12. “I can’t do it.” – Yes you can, you are just lazy…

13. “It’s a secret.” – Yeah, that everyone else knows, but me?!

14. “There are four seasons in Wisconsin.”- No, there are only two- nine months of winter and the rest- constructions!

15. “Ma’am,  I am so sorry but we don’t know where your son is…” (My son’s formal school calling me on the phone…)

Top 12 things I thought about America that are not true

1. How are you? - I am fine. 

No, you are not fine, you are totally depressed, stressed, you are freaking out almost. You are wearing sweat pants, your hair is messy and you shop at Walmart. No you are not OK, you are not fine either. You are broke, your job is low pay or you do not have a job. Your kids are bouncing off the wall, you screamed at them all day, being a personal chauffeur, cleaning the house after them before they come back from school and make it as messy as it was. You walk the dogs, you clean the cat's litter, you wash the dishes, and you look at yourself in the mirror seeing an old ugly fat lady. You go to the mail box- full of bills, you do laundry, you pick up the kids from school, your hubby is coming home and demands dinar and a sex. NO, you are not fine, why don't just say the truth next time someone asks you, don't need to hear the reasons, but will make the person who asks you feel a bit better that he/she is not the only one total loser in the world with a bad day today.  We are all humans, and we are not perfect and always every time everything is fine. 

Please do not be offended, this is what I think about myself as well sometimes.  

2. Reality TV

There is NOTHING real about reality tv guys. If you ask me how do I know, I will only tell you this- I was part of reality TV show and they hired me as an actress and I had an acting specific role that they required me to ACT during the tv show. I do believe from personal experience that most of the reality tv shows are just fake and all acted for people's entertainment. 

3. Junk Food

People if you didn't have so much extra food that you throw away, wouldn't be a junk. I am coming from a country where the food is limited or not around at all, so every little thing that you put in your mouth called food is valuable and nutritious. Human body needs everything and whatever you do not need goes to the waste basket called toilet! Maybe we should not waste so much food, we can save money that way too. 

4. Free and Freedom

I am so sorry but there is nothing in this world that is free. Everything has a price and someone ended up paying it or will pay it soon enough.

There is no such a thing as free or freedom. 

No, let me correct that- it is a thing out there as free and freedom. That will happen if you are totally broke and you live in a jungle or island with no politics involved and no other people around. Than you will be free and have a freedom to do whatever, but you will feel alone, I guess not free still from problems and issues. OK now scratch my last thought too, definitely no freedom!

5. America's "next top models"

Yeah, right, rats ass. All these perfect white teeth, perfect hair, perfect skin and body are NOT TRUE. When I came here in America I thought I will see all those perfect people, but guess who did I see- just me and you walking down the street, all normal, all human.

All we see in magazines, TV and etc. is a product of a fancy technology and skilled people with magic brushes. I just feel bad for all these people out there that are trying to compete with those magazines…

Maybe if the truth was out there- will be less depressed people around, less crime and more happy days. WE ARE ALL HUMANS AND WE WILL NEVER BE PERFECT. Otherwise we will be gods right?!

6. "I agree"

Wow, on what really do we agree? Seems we agree on everything, while setting up an account, downloading a song, installing a program, and so much more we all agree to, yet we never agree on all the pages of stuff that they require us to do in the meantime. I am one of those people - I agree now too.

7. "I love you."- "Me too"

I am starting to get the impression, people do NOT know what is really love or they just don't mean it when they say it. 

“I love you” shouldn’t be the “the end” of your conversations and definitely not a goodbye at any phone conversations.

What happened to the perfect moment, under the moon light, holding hands, my head rest on your shoulders, we are looking at the full moon remembering the first day we met and then we look into each other's eyes and we feel this tension and sure irresistible attraction. Sparkles flying all over, hear beats faster and faster...and than BOOM "I love you", and I am all melting answering "I love you too and I really mean it!" Ugh, that’s cheesy, but so sweet and we should all have that moment at least once!

8. Police

So I am driving with a friend, going for a lunch. I am parking front of the already picked fast food place and it happened to be next to a police officer's squad car.

"What the hell are you doing?" I got yelled. 

"What do you mean?" I am blinking confused. "What did I do wrong."

"You shouldn't be parking next to the cop's car!"

"Why not? Am I braking any law with parking next to it?"

I didn't get an answer and I will never understand why the police is so hated in America. In my country we love the police, we fall in love with the uniform, we wave at the officers, and we always trusted them while lost or in need of anything. Here in America everyone is on edge when seeing a police officer. You know they are people just like me and you, right?! They just fallow the law and make sure you do too. Too bad we are meeting them often when we experience something bad in our life, yet every day we are NOT robbed, harassed, raped or killed is THANKS to them. So thank you Police officers for your duty and that you had the guts to go out there and risk your life for mine without even meeting me. And  I don't hate you for choosing that career path. 

9. Speed limit

What is this really speed “limit” here in America? I learned that if it’s saying 55, I can drive 10 over. If it’s 65, I can go 10 over as well, but I should not speed really more than that because that will really get me to a pull over and a ticket. So what is really the limit? I really don’t know, but I love it here in America.

They let me drive that fast, but I had a hard time with them giving me driving license. I had to go seven times total before they felt sorry for me and approved me for the road lol.

10. Chicken noodle soup

Yeah, right with chicken… In my opinion they should call it “Lucky chicken noodle soup” if you find any chicken in it- you are lucky.

11. Everyone is rich.

In my country everyone thought money here grows on trees and everyone is rich. Well, no exactly, everyone is rich with bills and some of them go for 35 years or life time, like a house mortgage or student loan. Do not ask about my student loan… hahaha

12. “See you later”

That means “not at all” or in a few days that will feel long as months. Same with “Call you later” and “Talk to you later”. I never understood why people don’t mean the words they say. And when I say “I’ll call you later.” and I really call them in a few hours it is so shocking to them…