Tuesday, August 20, 2013


And again here I am all alone, why I ask I don't know even how it happened by.
So this one lasted only 3 weeks of non stop talk every hour, every day. I was sure happiest I ever been but how and why you lie to me like that?! I want to curse , I sure want to scream and cry, but I simply can't. I can't deny my true feelings, I can't deny when I fall in love and I can't deny that is all I feel every time.  I just don't know why people screw with me, and not just rescue me... Lonely, lonely in my life. The last one said I am too much. How can you even say I am too much liking you or too much falling for you. Isn't that what everyone wants in life- to be loved?!
It will be foolish of me to be sorry for who I am, I am so NOT, excuse me mister for that! Let me tell you something, I know what I want in life- I want to give, to love and care for someone, who would and IS ready to do the same. I don't want you broken heart, I don't want your broken head or tears for old girl friends and etc. I am tired, I can't fix, I won't try, walk away from me, don;t even bother!!! I know I am so young, I know I have so much to live ahead, but I can't play like this with my heart and be hurt every time and try and try again. It's always less, soon will be nothing left!
You talked to me every day, you said you are not afraid, I told you who I am, I warned you we are not the same, I SAID I am very passionate, I dream a lot, I give too much! I let you in my house, you met my kids, you spend the night with me, you lie to me! Why? Feeling so ashamed how we met? Ex girl friend one night you see... and than everything changed- I am too much?! How can you planed plans with me for the next three months, how can you even lough with me or hug me or wanting to kiss me, wanting me to be a bit less? You tell me this and say I don't understand, NO, YOU do not understand. It's not only your life shit, mine is, it is not only you broken- I am, and I was many times, but I live and wanna live. I want to be happy, not hurt so go away and don't come back. Don't tell me you had time to think and realize I am the one, because if I was you would of known from the first moment you met me. Are you blind? How did I ever hurt you, what did I ever called you? I was ready for better or worse, but you fucked the whole universe! When it got worse you decided to run away, well be alone now. This is shit, cut the crap, and don;t be with me a sneaky rat, I can see well trough you and I well understand. Relax, I am not gonna go back, I am not gonna look for you even thought hurts as Hell. Look at the god damn moon now and remember we met in full moon and that was the best night ever in my life. Remember every moment we spent because it was the greatest in your life. Remember me, because you will never meet another one like me, so move on and live with that, and don't worry I will be alright. With time, my heart healed, I will open for another with great risk to be hurt again a lot just like now.
You came and turned my world upside down, I wanted to only know if that was the same with you- and you got scared and run away!Too bad, I don't need cowards! I want a real man!